Until Next Time

It has become that time of year where school is soon beginning, and new memories will be made. But this year is the year that everyone is headed their separate ways to see what cards are in their hand in the game of life. I knew that this time would come but I just kept telling myself that it would be no different than when I changed schools, but I have never been more wrong.

Seeing the few that have helped shape my life thus far and were there to make the memories that I now keep tucked away for the days to come, is one thing that I have been trying to avoid but now having to face.

I have never been one to make friends very easily, or really wanting to, but through the last few years I have been blessed with a few special people that helped me through the good, bad, unknown, and everywhere in between times. The ones that no matter how stupid or little a thing I knew would be there when I called.

Tonight I said my "until next time" with the one girl that when no one else did friended me. As she puts it she came to talk to me that first time because she just couldn't figure me out. Although at the time I was not sure about her I was willing to talk, I did not know what she wanted until later on but at the time being the new kid from a school that no one else came from, I was willing to talk to who ever was willing to talk to me.

From that moment on things just kind of stuck, although we were two very different people, not knowing where life was going to take us, we decided on our journey to where ever that place may be we would try to find it with each others help when needed along the way.

Although if you ask me she has been that one person that when I had no one else to turn to was there to give me the best advise she could, even though it was not always what now looking back would have been the best to give. But hey, through the goofing off in school, getting others in trouble for the things we did, and getting away with everything that no one else would have, those were some of the best three years of high school.

Although the last year of high school we were not at the same school we still stayed in touch and did, what some would say is risky business, things that made some of the best memories that I have. And seeing her tonight to say our good byes, our until next times made me realize that everyone that is leaving says they are leaving behind for me since I am staying here it is not me leaving those memories. It is those memories leaving me.

They are leaving me with the places that will never quite feel the same. The knowing that there is no longer just a phone call to give and they will be right there. I know that for everyone this is what will truly make us who we are meant to be and to go where life is going to take us.

So, Until Next Time Rae Isable. May life give you everything that you need. I wish you the best on your new adventures of life, and just remember anything stupid that you do I would gladly be there right next to you doing it too. So, until the next time you are home, until the next time we talk. Just remember that the memories we have will be always be there to look back on and laugh on as the years go on.

 

You have been my "rock" these last few years and that is something that I will never be able to thank you enough for.

 

Until Next Time...

 

~Never let the worries or the fear to take over completely for you may never truly know what is there down the street waiting for you...~

 

Summer 2013

We know the whole "This is going to be the best summer I have had yet!" saying. Well for me none of the summers that I have ever had were all that exciting. They were all the same nothing really ever changed over the years, all I ever did was stay home, play outside with what ever neighbors were there that year, and if I was lucky I would get to go with dad on one of his trips to Madison. Yes when I was younger a the about three hour drive to Madison was fun because getting to have just me and Daddy time was the best thing especially to a daddy's girl. The trip was always fun but once we got there it was always then hours of sitting and waiting for the doctors, but I would not change a minute of it because we because so close during these times.

There was always the one big family/friends corn roast party that we always had, that by no choice of mine was also my birthday party to. but it was always more of mom and dads friends because well most of my friends and their families went on summer vacations and didn't stick around DePere, Wisconsin for the summer. Although there were always a few that would be able to make it.

Now don't take this as me complaining about my childhood in anyway I would not change it for anything it has made me who I am and made me learn to appreciate the little things. I am just trying to make a point of how all of my summers were always the same. So please don't take it as me complaining.

So although I too would leave school on the last day with the outlook that this was going to be the best summer I had ever had, I had not yet had that summer until this summer. The Summer of 2013! The summer after high school, the adventures before the start of college, the time before life goes on.

Throughout the school year I had been working with some very close friends of mine to set up everything for what I thought would be a once in a life time trip. This was going to be only the second real vacation that I had ever been on, and the first one that I would be able to remember. I know some of you may be asking where I was going, I was going to be going to India. All though I had graduated high school in January, taking the trip then was not an option. At that time I had just recently lost my job due to the business closing. So upon finishing school I "pulled up the boot straps" and really cracked down on trying to find a job that would be a reliable job while in college too. I had seen this time as an advantage to me because I would get a head start to those who would be getting done in the spring and too would be looking for a job.

I did find a good solid job that would not be going anywhere anytime soon, but then I faced the problem of with starting a new job it is hard and does not look the best to take a month off right away. So my trip again got pushed back. Once I had been there long enough to ask off for that long it was getting to close to graduation, even though I had been done for a few months already, I still wanted to be part of the ceremony and walk across the stage. Because well lets face it who doesn't want to do that after 12 years of hard work. So again the trip was getting pushed back.

Although there were many things that came up I finally got all the visa paperwork done, paid for and back. I was ready to go there was just one last thing that needed to be done, the second most important of it all we had to book my ticket. Through everything that was to say the least the easiest of it all.

As I landed there the adventures began right away. From the overload of people, being in a completely different culture, to the stores, street shops, street food, and everything else It was perfect. It was better than I could have ever though it would be. By day two we had reached our final destination and where I would be spending the majority of my time while there. While there I stayed with the family of the friends that helped make the trip possible for me.

Everything was wonderful. The food. The people. The Change. EVERYTHING! But the best part was that I had finally got to met the guy that I had been talking to for eight months prior. Don't worry, yes to me I had never meet him, but he was the cousin of the father that I had nannied for, who is also the friend that I have been talking about. I knew that I had feeling for this guy that I had never meet but I was not sure how deep they really were, but once we meet I knew for sure how deep they really were.

So for me the whole "summer love" thing really did come true but I know that it will be more than just a "summer love." Although he was not able to come back with me, we are working to get him here. Say what you want but what we have is more than any can know through just words on a computer. And no all of this is not just so he can come here, he is only coming here so that we can be together through this time of me being in college and from there who knows where life will take us. But I have been blessed with a man that is willing to give up everything he has and knows just to move 8,000 miles just so that we can be together because he knows that right now this is where I need to be. This is because he know as well as I do that the education that I will get here will be better than that I would get if I were there.

I can say that although I still have the summers between my college years to enjoy and yes there may be the chance that one of them may beat this summer but I will be fine with having the same old summers that I used to have, the ones I told you about earlier.

~Never keep a door from closing because you never know what could be behind the one that is still yet to open. You could be keeping the best part of your life from being set in front of you by holding on to that which you know is no longer any good to you...~

Only a Few Hours Left Here

The next few hours are the last that I will be spending in Green Bay Wisconsin for about the next three weeks. As happy as I am to be getting away from this place for the third summer in a row, this one will be the most memorable. As much as I have gotten myself ready to leave there is still a part of me that is starting to worry even more.

Like the last two summers I will not be only going to a different state. This year I am going to a different state in a different country. I am extra excited to be finally be taking what some would say a "real" trip. Let alone that this is going to be only the second vacation in my life it will be the first that I will ever remember. It has been a long 16 1/2 years that I have been waiting to take another vacation that I will be able to tell others about and even my own children someday. But as happy as I am I am just as scared. Because not only is it going to be only my third time ever flying but I is my first long flight. It is a 15 and a half hour flight and I will even be losing a day because of it. But to go along with that I am going to be going by myself. Although I know the people that I am staying with and I am flying there with one of them, it is still not the same as when you go with close family or friends.

So it is that time that I need to get some sleep for the drive down to Milwaukee in the morning.

P.S.

     Don't worry throughout my trip I will try to keep up with yous and tell you about what I have all done and how things are going.

~Never let the fear of falling keep you from doing something that could change your life forever.~

Eight Days

As the days just seem to be flying by I am left with my only day off of work before we leave town to do my packing, that I have not even started. Even though it is not hard something about it makes me just do everything in my power to avoid it. I guess even after high school procrastinating will always be my best friend.

As I think of all the wonderful things that I will get to see and do, and even just the experience itself my anxiety has already started to kick in big time even with having eight days left before we fly out. I know that everything will be just fine and everything and one will be here when I get back but the meer thought of being gone for these two weeks almost 8,000 miles away is the part that is getting me.

So as much as I have been trying to avoid packing I know I have to and until then I will be off here.

~One day you will do what you thought was the impossible, to prove to yourself that you are capable of doing what-so-ever you set your sights on.~

One Of Those Days

So today has been one of those days that no matter what I seem to do something is always going wrong. It either being upsetting someone, or something that went wrong is my fault even if I was not around or had nothing to do with it. Although I know that it will pass just like every other time it just does not seem to be a day that will be ending fast enough.

Although there were many good things that I did today everything seemed to be out weighed by double the bad. I have tried to keep my head up the best that I could today and not let the little things bother me it has come to that time of the day that it does not seem to matter. I have reached my breaking point for today and I just feel like sitting in a corner and crying.

As much as I know this is not the answer I feel just like any other time that it is the only way I personally will feel better. Knowing that as soon as I go to bed and wake up in the morning tomorrow will be a better day, I am just not ready for bed yet.

Today has just been one of those days that I wish I could just pack everything I have and move and start new. But I know if I did that I would just end up in an unfamiliar place facing new problems and challenges that would make me wish I would have just stayed.

~For every bad today that you face there will always be a better tomorrow~

The Wonders Of Music

I am sure that we have all at one time or another come across a song that sums up our life at that time better than any words we ever could. For me I feel this happens quite often because to start with I am not very good with words to begin with. So over the last four years I have really started to turn to music to help me find the words that I need oh so much at that time. Not always does it help but most of the time it does.

I personally feel that I always seem to come across these songs when I least expect it, or even when I don't realize that I am looking for one. Again this is how it happened this last time which was less than a week ago. It was about 12:30 AM while I was in my car on my way home. It was one of those nights that there seem to be nothing but talking on the radio, so just like any other time this happens I started playing my music. But although there was only music nothing seemed to be what I wanted to listen to, so I just kept changing the song to hopefully fine one before I reached home. At the first stop light I came to it was red, and at the same time a song started that I didn't remember having or ever heard before. So as I listen every word that came out of the speakers struck me like it was everything that I have been trying to figure out a way to say.

I know that many times it is only one song but for me this time it was two and it was right in a row.

These two songs seemed to change my night and next few days around.

I know you may be asking what the songs were:

She Don't Love Me - Blake Shelton

and

Sinners Like Me - Eric Church

I know they may seem like weird songs but the first one is everything that I someday hope will be between my ex and me. As far as the second one goes I'm not sure why but I just can't seem to not listen to it after.

~Not only does she not love me she don't hate me anymore~

~I come from a long line of sinners like me~

It Feels Unreal

So over the last few months I have been trying to plan a trip to India, and slowly it was all coming in to view but as of today everything is all set.

This is the list of things that needed to be done first:

• Talk to mom and dad about it
• Find a way to pay for the trip
• Get my passport
• Get a visa
• Talk to work to make sure I could get off for about three weeks
• Pick the dates
• Book the tickets
• Inform mom and dad and of course work too when I was going

Although the list is not long there is still a lot of time that has to go in to each thing. But all that time has been taken and everything is set. The feeling that this would never really happen is gone and is now replaced with one that feels so unreal and amazing.

I have never been this excited in my life, or at least that I can remember.

So as of July 9th I will be in India until July 24th.

~Although many things in life will seem impossible never let the thought of failing keep you from the great things you will do~

Where Does The Time Go?

In the last few months things have gone from crazy to calm to just a full out storm, and back again. Although many of these events that have come up have been minor, or even for the better it is still stressful and even sometimes overwhelming.

One event that took place in this time was graduation. Although I had finished school and technically "graduated" in January of this year I had decided to take part in the ceremony at the end of the year. Going back was nice getting to see everyone again and wish them luck on what ever was to come their way next. But like always there were things leading up to this day that made this day seem like it was just going to be a nightmare. Just a few of those would be picking up my cap and gown since they were handed out during the school day, reserving tickets, not receiving the correct tickets, planning who was going to come, and helping friends find extra tickets. In the end yes it was all worth it but until them I kept wondering if it was all going to pay off.

Another event was getting signed up for college classes. The hoops that the school makes you jump through are just crazy, and make you ask "what is the point of all this?" in the end I got all my classes set and even picked the days and times for my classes. One thing that I did not know that would come along with it until classes were started was that of getting my insurance all set so they to also know that I am a full time student still. This was just more headaches than I believe it should have been, but only time will tell if it has all been worth it.

A third event that took place was getting things settled in at work. Although everyday is doing the same thing, the pace is never the same. In the last few weeks thing have started to become regular as far as when I have been working and how many hours a week I am working. Although for now everything is good things are about to change and this change could go either good or bad, along with that when school gets started things will again change.

A forth and final large event that has happened and still in progress is the planing of my trip to India. The first part of this was figuring out how I was going to be able to pull it off with the cost of a trip like this, work, and making sure that mom and dad were okay with the whole thing. Yes, some may say that this is a once in a life time chance, but what they do not know is all the little details. Of course it is a trip with much to see and a lot to learn, but that is not the only reason for the trip either. The family that I have nannied for over the last two years are helping me pay and also their family is letting me stay with them so that always is nice when it comes to looking at the cost. One thing that I had to get done before I can pick dates was that I had to get my visa, which took about two weeks all in all. Although my parents were okay with me going they still had their questions and also had a right to know that part of the reason of me taking this trip had changed. Yes their questions did get answered and so did some of the new ones that came up after finding out the extra reason for making the trip now and not later. I am sure you are also wondering. Well the main reason I am looking to go now and not later is because a cousin, of the father of the family that I nanny for, and I have been talking for a while now and we both would very much like to meet, and see where thing would go from there. And with all of this the only part that is left is to find dates that work for their family and also for me, and then it is off I go to India.

So I know what you are thinking why does it matter that us meeting happens now or later, it is the fact that many parents want their children married at a certain age so that they to can have a family and enjoy life happy with someone they love. And well it just so happens that he is reaching that age and I too also would very much love to find the one that I will spend the rest of my life with, say what you will about not knowing what I want because I am to young but I do not think that is true, I don't think that there is a right age I think it is different for each of us. 

So yes these events have not been bad at all they still have made my life crazy with spurts of calm but in the end just like any other time something or things happens in your life you are always left with the same question in the end. "Where has time gone?" I neither have an answer for you but I do know that the more you enjoy the little moments the more you will want to celebrate the huge moments.

~Take everyday for what it is worth and never overlook any of the little things for those may be the things that make the big things all worth it in the end.~

Will You Ever Understand?

Why is it that every time you seem to know what you want there is always someone right there to tell you that you don't know what you want and you are just straight up wrong. For me this always seems to happen and no matter what I tell this person they seem to just not know how to listen. I can say one thing and it is like they just don't seem to hear it because it is not what they want to hear.

Having tried just about everything nothing seems to have worked. I understand that is hard to let go of someone that you have loved but there comes a point when you have to let them free to live their life. I know it is not easy for I also had to go through this but I made it. Now don't get me wrong I am not trying to say that it is by any means easy, and that the feeling of just wanting to tell them they have no idea what they are doing and what they are doing is wrong. But you have to cut the rope sometime and let people find where their life is going on their own even if that means that you are not part of it anymore.

Don't get me wrong I am not saying it is okay to go out and just use people by any means. What I am trying to say is that before committing to anyone know that you are willing to give that relationship everything, but also know that if for some reason things just don't work out no matter the feelings you have, had, or know will never go away, you are willing to let that other person go and have the chance to make their into what they want it to be.

First hand I know that there are always feeling that you just can't seem to get rid of no matter how hard you try, and maybe they are meant to be there for a reason even if you do not know them now, someday everything will seem to fall into place.

As for me right now I am still trying to get him to understand that what we had is just that, and I am at the point in my life that I am ready to see where life is going to take me and who is going to be brought into my life and who is not going to stick around.

Not This Year...

As spring time keeps getting closer I am reminded that this is the spring that I will not be playing my senior year of softball. Through all of this I can say the only thing about this that makes me happy is knowing that I am done with school and start moving on in life. This is a wonderful thing yes, but I know that it would never compare to that of a Senior year softball season.

The last three seasons were great, between the memories, the losses and even a win every now and again. Much time was spent in the gym and on the field, with the girls that made up the team. Through those three years we all became like a family. Although every year the family would change a little, we always had a few rough patches but we always knew come game time we were all there for the same thing. The love that all of us had for that one special game, Softball.

I know I am not part of the team this year but there is nothing that I will miss more than this precious time that I so wish I could be out on that field. I hope that the girls this year put in their all like always and show its about the love of the sport not just about winning. I do hope that maybe this season will be a little better than the last few.

~There will always be that one thing no matter how old you become that will always have a special place in your heart no matter where your life takes you and how long its been~

Going Out With A Bang

Thoughout life I have always been the one who never liked following directions, or doing the same thing as others. I always wanted to be different, stand out from the crowd. During my highschool years and now.

During my freshman year, I knew that I wanted to make a stand to be remembered after I left. I was not sure how I was going to do this, or even if my hopes where to high. The biggest challange that I faced was the fack that I did not know anyone since I had just changed schools. Still I was determaned to not let this stop me.

As freshman year can to an end I had started to grow closer to some of the girls in my class and a few others. By the time Sophmore year began many of us became very close. The more and more time passed the closer we all became. Through the fights, fun, and countless memories that had been already made we all knew that we would be one group that would be going out with a bang.

Sophmore year seemed to fly by and the next thing we all knew it was Junior year. More memories where made and more fights where fought. But through it all we knew who we could count on and trust in the end. Through these three years I had some of the best times of my life and I would not change a thing about it.

Although I did not spend my Senior year with these girls I know that we still have a bond that has not changed. I know that those that I did spend my Senior year with good memories were made also and friendships were made stronger and new ones were also made.

I am still going through life with the plan of being someone people will always remember. I am now just trying to find a way that works through it all, but I know that I will find a way one of these days.

Trust But Always Be Careful

There comes a moment in time where you reality truly sets in and you accept the fact that those whom you thought would always be in your life are no longer there, or not as often. When I first started to accept this It was one of the hardest things I had done. I did not want to admit that when I was making friends I had not found people that would stick by my side through thick and thin. I did not want to admit that I had let my guard down and did notice until it was to late.

As time passed I started to accept things more and started to see these things as a learning lesson and to help me through the rest of my life when it comes to deciding who I am willing to let in. I have learned that although someone seems to be nice and caring, and see as if they want to see you happy that is not always the truth. Now I am not saying that everyone is like this or that this is everyone's deep dark plan. What I am really saying is that before you put our self out there for others do it carefully and don't give others the ability to knock you down and ruin you before you truly see who they are as a person.

Things Never Stay the Same

As more and more time passes I am left with the realization that no matter what I do to try and keep things the same to do that is out of my reach and control. No matter how hard one tries you keeping things from changing is not realistic.

Though out my life I have always been trying to keep everything from changing. My friends, family, jobs, my opinion, decisions, anything. I have always known in the back of my mind that these were not things that I could control by any means. By the time that I have accepted the fact that not everything was in my hands and that I had to just take things day by day is when my life started to become more and more easier.

Don't get me wrong I still have my days that I seem to forget this but I always seem to find something or some one that brings me back to reality.

I know this is not the best or even something that you may care about or want to hear but this is something that I feel that maybe by putting it out there for others that I may be able to help maybe even just one person realize this too, and maybe it will help to make their lives a little less stressful also.

Think What You Will But It's My Choice

In about three hours I will again be getting something that will change not only my life but also my fathers. For some what I am getting done may seen obscene and not okay, but to me none of that matters. To me the only thing that matters is that I will have something that I will be able to show everyone how much my father really truly means to me.

You may be asking yourself at this point what is she getting done. I am getting a tattoo that will represent how much my dad has meant and will always mean to me.

I know what many are thinking. "Why do you want to get something that in 20 years you will regret?" "Do you really think that would make your father happy?" "How could you be doing something so stupid?"

But one thing that you have to realize is that things in my family are not what many would say that of a normal family. My parents see nothing wrong with tattoos and they see it as a personal choice. I also see it this way and also as a way of expressing what is important and meaningful to oneself.

My first tattoo that I got about 6 months ago is one that will always remind me of what is truly important but also that my mom will always be there by my side when things get to a point where i need someone else to lean on. 

So yes say what you would like. Tell me I am making a bad choice and that there are other ways of expressing myself. But no matter what anyone tells me it will not change my mind. I am doing this for me and as long as it makes me happy that is all that matters.

So go ahead tell others what you want and think what you like of me, but I know that in the end what others think is not what is truly important but what I think of myself is. And those that truly love me will be by my side even if they believe that I am making the wrong decision and will be there for me when I fall to lift me up and help me find the right way.

Tuesday March 19, 2013 3:30 P.M.

As of tomorrow at 3:30 P.M. I will be in the process of getting my second tattoo done. I have always wanted a tattoo and after my first one I decided that I wanted one that would mean alto to me, and also be able to show everyone that would see them know that these things really truly mean the world to me.

I had gotten my first tattoo a few days after my 18th birthday, and I had decided that I was going to have it done on my right side along my ribs. For this tattoo part of it will be on my collarbone and the other part with be wrapped around my shoulder on to my shoulder blade. This will also all be taking place on my left shoulder.

So in less than 24 hours I will be once again be freshly inked. And I can not wait.

Everyone knows the difference between right and wrong. I to know the difference, for my parents taught me very well. As some may already know there comes a time when you break those boundaries. For me that seens to have taken place in the last year or so.

Of course it could not be something simple it had to be complicated. It just had to be something that involved me but others too. When things first started I told myself that this was just a momentary thing, but things changed. I told myself that I would not let my feeling get involved, and well again as you can probably guess things again changed. By no means did I ever imagin this happening or plan it to happen, but like people always say "everything happens for a reason." It is just that I am still searching for the reason why.

I have been trying to find a way to fix things or maybe change them with out making things to weird. I have not had any luck with this yet. I am hoping that maybe one day I will just wake up and have an answer to this question, therefor also giving me a way to deal with the whole situation. I am also hoping that that one day comes soon, before someone ends up getting hurt because of the whole thing.

“Everything happens for a reason. Every action has a reaction. Always remember that whats meant to be will always find a way to come about.”

This Time It Will Be Different

Keep an open mind. Just breath. Don't over think. Remember its not the end of the world. This is God's plan, its all in his hands. This is just God's way of put you back where you belong.

These are the things that I keep telling myself. It's not that I don't know these things, its just that when you think you know where your life is going all it takes is one little thing to change all the plans you thought were perfect to change.

This is what I have learned not for the first time but once again. It is not that my life is over or that I the opportunity won't come around again, just that right now was not the right time for it to happen. For me it just so happens that it is happening with my college plans. I know that there are other options that are just as good, but I got to the point where I thought I could not fail. Where everything was in my hands.

I am starting to see not getting into my number one college choice as God's way of reminding me that things are not in my hands they are in his. That what I thought was where my life was going is not where he wanted it to go, or at least not yet.

So just remember, everything is in his hands anew if you should forget that he will always find a way to remind you, letting it be a way that makes you happy or maybe even extremely upset.

He is good. He is great. He is the one in control.

Month One - Post High School

Since September my life seemed to just be passing just like any other high schoolers that was until January. Everyday seemed to be the exact same.

A Typical Day

• 6:30 A.M. - Wake up for school
• 7:55 A.M. - School starts
• 2:10 P.M. - Done with school
• 2:30 P.M. - Start homework
• 5:00 P.M. - Go to work
• 9:00 P.M. - Get home from work
• 11:00 P.M. - Go to bed

I had the normal thought anyone would have. Is my life ever going to change. I could not wait to be don with school, knowing that I was going to be done early. Well when the day came that I was no longer in high school it was just like everyone hopes it feels like. I had an overwelling feeling of joy and excitement. The first few days were some of the best, I didn't have to get up for school, I didn't have to go to work. I had no work because my place of employment closed about a week before I was done with school.

Now don't get me wrong I was happy to not have anything going on but at the same time after a few days I had no idea of what to do with myself. I no longer wanted to be sitting at home all the time so I let the search for a new job begin. It has been just over a month now that I have graduated and I have found a job and should be starting soon. As far a college goes that is for another day, but as I figure out the how the life of a high school graduate I will try to keep up to date.

Lessons Learned

There is not a day that passes that I do not listen to at least one song. There is that one song that always just seems to speak to you and every word seems it was written just for your life. I have been thinking about this the last few days, there have been a few songs that I feel fit this for me but there has always been one that has stood out to me.

Lessons Learned By: Carrie Underwood.

I believe that this song explains everything from the last days of eighth grade, to freshman year through junior year, to senior year, and even through graduation. From first loves to broken hearts, goals and dreams to how to reach those goals and dreams. Not only does it seem to say everything I wish I could say but everything that I didn't know how to take in and explain.

Who knew that within only about four minutes everything from the last few years would seem to just be put into the words that you wish you could just say but don't know how, is already out there just waiting for you to discover it.

When Everything Changes

The last four years have been what some would say as a life changing time, between figuring out who I am as a person, where I want to go in my life, and how I was going to accomplish my goals. Within the last four years the things that I thought would never change did, all changed for the best but at the time if you would have asked me I would have said the complete opposite.

One of the biggest and most influential changes that happened was the very first day of what was then the next four years of my life. I walked in not knowing a soul, nor wanting to be there. As time passed I started to accept this was one change I could not keep from happening. As time just seemed to just fly by with no control of how fast or slow, memories where made and some are the best that I have. Some I wish I could change but I know that the lessons that I learned where ones that I needed to learn. From new friends, to a new school, to new teams, to trying everything that I could be part of.

Through all of these new chances, at the time, I learned that for the things that I can not change, there is always a different way to approach any situation. Looking back at the last four years I have learned that regretting things is just a waste of time, and of a good lesson that can be learned. Don't get me wrong there was a point where I did regret things that had or were happening. But looking back now I don't regret them, I see them as the lessons that God wanted me to learn and knew I need at the time and that was the one way he knew that I could not miss them.

So from all this yes, there was a point that I hated high school, when I just couldn't wait to be done, to just be given the chance to get out of this place. Yes there are still days that I feel this way but I know they will pass and where ever I end up is right were God wants me to be.

Long Time Gone

Over the last year a lot of things have for me have changed. My school, my friends, my job, my ambitions, the plan on how to reach my goals and dreams. With in the last year I have accomplished many things that I knew I would sooner or later accomplish, but many where a lot sooner than I expected.

1. Apply for semester graduation
2. Complete summer class
3. Change schools
4. Make new friends
5. Take school seriously
6. Pass all classes
7. Graduate early

From these seven things I am able to cross off each one knowing that I put my full effort into completing them with everything that I had. To some these things may not seem like much but to me they were everything.

Looking back I would have never thought I would be where I am today. I have learned who I truly am, who my true friends are, what my future holds, and what is to come next for me. I have found that those who I thought were the most important to me, where, but some I found that what I thought we had meant nothing. I also learned who I truly was and what was truly important to me and what I wanted to be known for standing for. Although many things from the past year I wish I could change, but I know that they happened the way they did for a reason. Some of those reasons I have learned to accept and others I accept but still wish I could change but I know if they changed everything else would most likely change too.

Although I have learned and changed a lot I know it has been for the best and helped me learn what I am meant to do with my life and where my life will be taking me in the next few years.