313 Days

Once again as always my sister and I got in to a fight that had me storming out of the house. No one even stopped to say anything on my way out. From there I went to work from 5-9. Upon my arrival home after work and just a little extra time out of the house for myself I returned home. The only thing that has been said to me in the past two hours is "Hello" from my mother when I walked in partly because I had to walk past her to get down stairs to my room. After that was nothing tell about 20 minutes ago when I turned on my music and it was a little to loud I guess cause I then received a text message saying to be a little bit more quite cause there are people trying to sleep. I did not think that it was that loud but I guess again I was wrong just like I am with everything here. In 313 days I will be a legal adult at the age of 18. I know that I will have a year left of high school left but to me that does not matter. I want to get out and be on my own just to show everyone that has doubted me that I can make it on my own. To prove to my family that I may be the last one out of the house but that I can handle the responsibility of school, work and fending for myself. Because to them I may not seem like I know how to or that I do. But for the little bit that I spend at home I might as well be out on my own. I know that mom and dad will tell me to just wait to be done with high school but I know that I will be lucky if I can make it that long. The more that I spend here the more I seem to fall farther and farther away from everyone of the family. I have friends at school and out side of school that don't understand what I'm saying when they ask what is wrong. This is due to the fact that none of them had to grow up and learn to be their own person and take care of themselves. Because unlike a normal child and teenager, I did not have the choice to not do anything and not have any responsibility. As I have been told by my mom and doctors I didn't really have a childhood. When I'm at school or work and people bring up their childhood memories. I sit there and think wow for the life of me I can't remember anything from then. I have been told that I blocked out my childhood because there were no memories worth remembering. To tell you the truth from the stories I have heard from my childhood I can completely believe that that is what happened. So in 313 days I will show everyone that thinks I can't do it. That the little girl that they thought that I would always be hasn't been around for a while. So that Jeep Wrangler that I have wanted for so many years I guess will just be put off so that I can get out and start my own life and feel like I might make a difference in my life.