Start of the New Season

So about a week ago the softball season started and I found out just how out of shape I really am. About the same time that the season started I got a gym membership. I had worked out and told myself that I was going to go before school everyday and work out for an hour. Well we all know how hard it is to get back in your normal school schedule after spring break. So starting tomorrow morning I am making my self get up and go. I know that the more I make this a regular thing for my mornings the easier it will become. This softball season I am going to make it the best it can be and become the best player I can be. One of the main reasons for this is because that is the whole point of playing sports to become better and because as of right now this is my last year and I want to make it count. As I see it this is going to be the best season ever!

~If Softball was any easier it would be called Baseball!~

Spring Snow Break

It's the middle of spring break and we have just got the third biggest snow storm of the year. Our softball practice was canceled because of to much snow and the thick ice on the road. The weather man says that it should start to warm up but the last time it did that... we got this snow storm that dumped 17.something inches of snow.  I'm ready for this to be over and for the warm weather to come and stay. This has been one of my least favorite spring breaks of all.

That One Feeling

One thing can change your out look on everything. Well I got that one thing today that changed how I feel about everything. The one thing that I feel is going to make everything go in the wrong direction. I know that what I am feeling is only feeling, that its not going to happen. As many times as I tell myself this it doesn't seem to make it any better. I try to get it off my mind but nothing seems to be able to take it off. To just for even five minutes even just put it in the back of my mind. People ask whats wrong and I say nothing because its just easier to hide it and deal with it myself then to tell everyone. So many time I have been told that it's not good to hold everything in that talking about it helps. This over the years I found is a lie. Talking about it just makes it hurt even more, let alone everyone soon after telling that one person knows. And then not only is everyone talking about it, they start to ask you about it. This makes it hurt even more again. I know that in time it will become easier its just the time it take for that feeling to come seems to take way to long. This is the times in life that I wish there was just a fast forward button. The only thing that matters right now is that I know life will go on.

~ Always remember the moments if your life that made you smile there the ones that make it worth living~

Pause Button

So lately life has been just as crazy as it has ever been. School and lots of homework, finding time to spend with people out side of school. Well some days I wish my life just had a Pause Button. To be able to spend more time with those that I don't get to see that often. or just don't want to have to leave. But just my luck that's just not the way that life works. In the past few months I have really come to appreciate the things in my everyday life that one day might just not be there any more. To care for the ones that mean the world to me, and wish the best on those that are not. To thank God for everything that I have and start to learn the reasons for the things that I don't. To keep dreaming and shooting for the stars so that just maybe one day soon I'll be able to reach out and grab them. Looking back to my past I can see many times I should have been thankful for what I had, but instead was angry for not getting what I wanted. If I could go back and tell myself that one day I will be thankful for that anyways I would. Seeing the destruction in the world, wither from nature or man, looking back and seeing the faces of those that I reached out my time or even a hand to help them in their time of need is something that I will never forget. All the help that I have been given and have given out over the years I hope when the day comes that again I may need help someone will be there to reach a hand out to me and tell me that it will be okay. Knowing that I have reached out and touched many lives helping out because I love to help those who need and appreciate it has changed my world and once again make me wish I could pause time to keep the feeling I get knowing I did something to change someones life in a God pleasing way.


~ Life is to short so forgive but don't forget, don't stop dreaming, and keep those that mean the world to you close~

Just Once

There are always those things that you just don't want to remember, talk about, or just don't want anyone else to know about. When it's just easier to lie about what is wrong or what is bothering you. Well personally i have seem to have a lot of those things that I don't want to tell anyone. A few people have seemed to notice and ask if everything is okay. I take the easy way out and just say yes. Over the past few years I have gotten very good at this. Even the acting like everything is okay when I feel like falling in a hole and never coming out cause it might just make it go away then. After a while it seems like people give up on trying to get you to tell them what is wrong. The best thing I have found that helps to get to get people to quit asking is to each person tell something different cause then when everyone talks to try to figure it out they have no idea or just something as simple as I just don't feel good does the job too. For years I have been doing this and it has never failed for me yet and I don't think it will any time soon. There are only a few people out there that when asked whats wrong or if something is bothering me will I tell them the truth. This is because they are the ones that I can trust to not tell anyone else and not get mad and really understand what is going on and how I really feel. There are some days that I wish I would just have the courage to tell them the truth but that would make for some very long and dreaded days. Which would not be in my favor cause a lot of days are already long and dreaded.

~Maybe some day things will go in a direction in my favor~