Until Next Time

It has become that time of year where school is soon beginning, and new memories will be made. But this year is the year that everyone is headed their separate ways to see what cards are in their hand in the game of life. I knew that this time would come but I just kept telling myself that it would be no different than when I changed schools, but I have never been more wrong.

Seeing the few that have helped shape my life thus far and were there to make the memories that I now keep tucked away for the days to come, is one thing that I have been trying to avoid but now having to face.

I have never been one to make friends very easily, or really wanting to, but through the last few years I have been blessed with a few special people that helped me through the good, bad, unknown, and everywhere in between times. The ones that no matter how stupid or little a thing I knew would be there when I called.

Tonight I said my "until next time" with the one girl that when no one else did friended me. As she puts it she came to talk to me that first time because she just couldn't figure me out. Although at the time I was not sure about her I was willing to talk, I did not know what she wanted until later on but at the time being the new kid from a school that no one else came from, I was willing to talk to who ever was willing to talk to me.

From that moment on things just kind of stuck, although we were two very different people, not knowing where life was going to take us, we decided on our journey to where ever that place may be we would try to find it with each others help when needed along the way.

Although if you ask me she has been that one person that when I had no one else to turn to was there to give me the best advise she could, even though it was not always what now looking back would have been the best to give. But hey, through the goofing off in school, getting others in trouble for the things we did, and getting away with everything that no one else would have, those were some of the best three years of high school.

Although the last year of high school we were not at the same school we still stayed in touch and did, what some would say is risky business, things that made some of the best memories that I have. And seeing her tonight to say our good byes, our until next times made me realize that everyone that is leaving says they are leaving behind for me since I am staying here it is not me leaving those memories. It is those memories leaving me.

They are leaving me with the places that will never quite feel the same. The knowing that there is no longer just a phone call to give and they will be right there. I know that for everyone this is what will truly make us who we are meant to be and to go where life is going to take us.

So, Until Next Time Rae Isable. May life give you everything that you need. I wish you the best on your new adventures of life, and just remember anything stupid that you do I would gladly be there right next to you doing it too. So, until the next time you are home, until the next time we talk. Just remember that the memories we have will be always be there to look back on and laugh on as the years go on.

 

You have been my "rock" these last few years and that is something that I will never be able to thank you enough for.

 

Until Next Time...

 

~Never let the worries or the fear to take over completely for you may never truly know what is there down the street waiting for you...~

 

Summer 2013

We know the whole "This is going to be the best summer I have had yet!" saying. Well for me none of the summers that I have ever had were all that exciting. They were all the same nothing really ever changed over the years, all I ever did was stay home, play outside with what ever neighbors were there that year, and if I was lucky I would get to go with dad on one of his trips to Madison. Yes when I was younger a the about three hour drive to Madison was fun because getting to have just me and Daddy time was the best thing especially to a daddy's girl. The trip was always fun but once we got there it was always then hours of sitting and waiting for the doctors, but I would not change a minute of it because we because so close during these times.

There was always the one big family/friends corn roast party that we always had, that by no choice of mine was also my birthday party to. but it was always more of mom and dads friends because well most of my friends and their families went on summer vacations and didn't stick around DePere, Wisconsin for the summer. Although there were always a few that would be able to make it.

Now don't take this as me complaining about my childhood in anyway I would not change it for anything it has made me who I am and made me learn to appreciate the little things. I am just trying to make a point of how all of my summers were always the same. So please don't take it as me complaining.

So although I too would leave school on the last day with the outlook that this was going to be the best summer I had ever had, I had not yet had that summer until this summer. The Summer of 2013! The summer after high school, the adventures before the start of college, the time before life goes on.

Throughout the school year I had been working with some very close friends of mine to set up everything for what I thought would be a once in a life time trip. This was going to be only the second real vacation that I had ever been on, and the first one that I would be able to remember. I know some of you may be asking where I was going, I was going to be going to India. All though I had graduated high school in January, taking the trip then was not an option. At that time I had just recently lost my job due to the business closing. So upon finishing school I "pulled up the boot straps" and really cracked down on trying to find a job that would be a reliable job while in college too. I had seen this time as an advantage to me because I would get a head start to those who would be getting done in the spring and too would be looking for a job.

I did find a good solid job that would not be going anywhere anytime soon, but then I faced the problem of with starting a new job it is hard and does not look the best to take a month off right away. So my trip again got pushed back. Once I had been there long enough to ask off for that long it was getting to close to graduation, even though I had been done for a few months already, I still wanted to be part of the ceremony and walk across the stage. Because well lets face it who doesn't want to do that after 12 years of hard work. So again the trip was getting pushed back.

Although there were many things that came up I finally got all the visa paperwork done, paid for and back. I was ready to go there was just one last thing that needed to be done, the second most important of it all we had to book my ticket. Through everything that was to say the least the easiest of it all.

As I landed there the adventures began right away. From the overload of people, being in a completely different culture, to the stores, street shops, street food, and everything else It was perfect. It was better than I could have ever though it would be. By day two we had reached our final destination and where I would be spending the majority of my time while there. While there I stayed with the family of the friends that helped make the trip possible for me.

Everything was wonderful. The food. The people. The Change. EVERYTHING! But the best part was that I had finally got to met the guy that I had been talking to for eight months prior. Don't worry, yes to me I had never meet him, but he was the cousin of the father that I had nannied for, who is also the friend that I have been talking about. I knew that I had feeling for this guy that I had never meet but I was not sure how deep they really were, but once we meet I knew for sure how deep they really were.

So for me the whole "summer love" thing really did come true but I know that it will be more than just a "summer love." Although he was not able to come back with me, we are working to get him here. Say what you want but what we have is more than any can know through just words on a computer. And no all of this is not just so he can come here, he is only coming here so that we can be together through this time of me being in college and from there who knows where life will take us. But I have been blessed with a man that is willing to give up everything he has and knows just to move 8,000 miles just so that we can be together because he knows that right now this is where I need to be. This is because he know as well as I do that the education that I will get here will be better than that I would get if I were there.

I can say that although I still have the summers between my college years to enjoy and yes there may be the chance that one of them may beat this summer but I will be fine with having the same old summers that I used to have, the ones I told you about earlier.

~Never keep a door from closing because you never know what could be behind the one that is still yet to open. You could be keeping the best part of your life from being set in front of you by holding on to that which you know is no longer any good to you...~

Only a Few Hours Left Here

The next few hours are the last that I will be spending in Green Bay Wisconsin for about the next three weeks. As happy as I am to be getting away from this place for the third summer in a row, this one will be the most memorable. As much as I have gotten myself ready to leave there is still a part of me that is starting to worry even more.

Like the last two summers I will not be only going to a different state. This year I am going to a different state in a different country. I am extra excited to be finally be taking what some would say a "real" trip. Let alone that this is going to be only the second vacation in my life it will be the first that I will ever remember. It has been a long 16 1/2 years that I have been waiting to take another vacation that I will be able to tell others about and even my own children someday. But as happy as I am I am just as scared. Because not only is it going to be only my third time ever flying but I is my first long flight. It is a 15 and a half hour flight and I will even be losing a day because of it. But to go along with that I am going to be going by myself. Although I know the people that I am staying with and I am flying there with one of them, it is still not the same as when you go with close family or friends.

So it is that time that I need to get some sleep for the drive down to Milwaukee in the morning.

P.S.

     Don't worry throughout my trip I will try to keep up with yous and tell you about what I have all done and how things are going.

~Never let the fear of falling keep you from doing something that could change your life forever.~

Eight Days

As the days just seem to be flying by I am left with my only day off of work before we leave town to do my packing, that I have not even started. Even though it is not hard something about it makes me just do everything in my power to avoid it. I guess even after high school procrastinating will always be my best friend.

As I think of all the wonderful things that I will get to see and do, and even just the experience itself my anxiety has already started to kick in big time even with having eight days left before we fly out. I know that everything will be just fine and everything and one will be here when I get back but the meer thought of being gone for these two weeks almost 8,000 miles away is the part that is getting me.

So as much as I have been trying to avoid packing I know I have to and until then I will be off here.

~One day you will do what you thought was the impossible, to prove to yourself that you are capable of doing what-so-ever you set your sights on.~

One Of Those Days

So today has been one of those days that no matter what I seem to do something is always going wrong. It either being upsetting someone, or something that went wrong is my fault even if I was not around or had nothing to do with it. Although I know that it will pass just like every other time it just does not seem to be a day that will be ending fast enough.

Although there were many good things that I did today everything seemed to be out weighed by double the bad. I have tried to keep my head up the best that I could today and not let the little things bother me it has come to that time of the day that it does not seem to matter. I have reached my breaking point for today and I just feel like sitting in a corner and crying.

As much as I know this is not the answer I feel just like any other time that it is the only way I personally will feel better. Knowing that as soon as I go to bed and wake up in the morning tomorrow will be a better day, I am just not ready for bed yet.

Today has just been one of those days that I wish I could just pack everything I have and move and start new. But I know if I did that I would just end up in an unfamiliar place facing new problems and challenges that would make me wish I would have just stayed.

~For every bad today that you face there will always be a better tomorrow~