It's Been A While

     So I know that it's been a very long time since I have been on here and updated whats going on in my world. So its almost to the end of the school year when all of the papers for all the classes are do and finals are mixed somewhere in that mess that is the end of the year. and when i think about it I can't really rap my head around the fact that I'm going to be a junior. I feel as if its been just yesterday that I walked in to this school not knowing a single person and and being at the bottom of the totem pole as a freshmen. The thought of in just a little over two years i will be done with high school and I will be on my way to bigger and better things of college, a full time job, looking to settle down and maybe even start a family. When I look to this as what will as soon as I know it be the present it to me isn't scary but a little over whelming. This is what has been happening in my "High School Career" these last few weeks.
     The longer that I work at McDonald's the more I have been wishing and hoping to find a new job. As I have been turning applications all over and not hearing a word from any one I decided to take a brake and let things settle down and then start again. But the other day I came home from a softball game to have my mom tell me that I need to sit down because she needed to talk to me. My first thought was that I did something wrong at school and they called her but I could think of anything that I might have done. Then Thoughts of something went wrong, someone got hurt, or someone died started to go through my head. As I sat down to hear what she had to tell me before I started to panic. The first words out of her mouth were "This is something that is going to change your life forever." With hearing this I immediately went back to all the bad things. She then went on to say that she and my dad had been asked if I could move out to Virginia for the summer and be the family nanny. As soon as she told me this I was so excited that I said yes before she was even done talking. So some time this week end me and my mom are going to go over there and get all the details set out. So as I stopped looking for a new job a new one has decided to find me. So far I think my summer is off to a very good start and I don't know how much better it can get from here.

I always get asked how can I like to listen to country music. Well the answer is when you really listen to what the lyrics truly say its what has or has happened in your life at some point. For the past few weeks I have been on a role of only listening to Taylor Swift. Many Say her songs are stupid and pointless but to me the meaning is more then just the noise that most hear when they listen to music. Since the start of her first song that she put out I have been able to relate in some way. My new favorite from her is "MEAN" it talks about those who always put people down and never have a single nice thing to say. One of my favorite things about online music libraries and play lists is that you can put just the songs or artists that you want on them. My favorite online music place is www.playlist.com. Music is one of the most important things to my day.

~There is nothing in the world so much like prayer as music is.~

~William P. Merrill~

Start of the New Season

So about a week ago the softball season started and I found out just how out of shape I really am. About the same time that the season started I got a gym membership. I had worked out and told myself that I was going to go before school everyday and work out for an hour. Well we all know how hard it is to get back in your normal school schedule after spring break. So starting tomorrow morning I am making my self get up and go. I know that the more I make this a regular thing for my mornings the easier it will become. This softball season I am going to make it the best it can be and become the best player I can be. One of the main reasons for this is because that is the whole point of playing sports to become better and because as of right now this is my last year and I want to make it count. As I see it this is going to be the best season ever!

~If Softball was any easier it would be called Baseball!~

Spring Snow Break

It's the middle of spring break and we have just got the third biggest snow storm of the year. Our softball practice was canceled because of to much snow and the thick ice on the road. The weather man says that it should start to warm up but the last time it did that... we got this snow storm that dumped 17.something inches of snow.  I'm ready for this to be over and for the warm weather to come and stay. This has been one of my least favorite spring breaks of all.

That One Feeling

One thing can change your out look on everything. Well I got that one thing today that changed how I feel about everything. The one thing that I feel is going to make everything go in the wrong direction. I know that what I am feeling is only feeling, that its not going to happen. As many times as I tell myself this it doesn't seem to make it any better. I try to get it off my mind but nothing seems to be able to take it off. To just for even five minutes even just put it in the back of my mind. People ask whats wrong and I say nothing because its just easier to hide it and deal with it myself then to tell everyone. So many time I have been told that it's not good to hold everything in that talking about it helps. This over the years I found is a lie. Talking about it just makes it hurt even more, let alone everyone soon after telling that one person knows. And then not only is everyone talking about it, they start to ask you about it. This makes it hurt even more again. I know that in time it will become easier its just the time it take for that feeling to come seems to take way to long. This is the times in life that I wish there was just a fast forward button. The only thing that matters right now is that I know life will go on.

~ Always remember the moments if your life that made you smile there the ones that make it worth living~