Time To Move On

Over the last few months I had been seeing a guy on and off. We had not made anything official but it was one of those things that we had not been seeing anyone else either. About a month ago things between us started to get distant, to the point of going a whole week or more without talking. I know what your thinking, we weren't a couple so why am I worried. Well about a week ago I was asked by my sister if I would be interested in going on a date with one of her friends. This is what made me really start questioning what the first guy and me had. When I really started to think about it I realized that I may not truly be ready to move on. I don't mean with the first guy, but I mean over all with dating. With my last relationship I learned a lot about relationships, myself, when to say enough is enough, and how to stand up for myself and my daughter. What I realized is that I had been holding on to a relationship that wasn't there to keep from having to deal with the feelings that I had. I knew that if he had really wanted to make things work between us there would not have been as many excuses and canceled plans. No matter how crazy and hectic life gets if you really want things to work you will find a way, I have really learned that the last 8 months being a mom. So I decided to give my sisters friend a chance. I had meet him before but we never really had talked. I guess I am hoping that this will tell me if I am ready to get back out and try dating again, who knows I might find out that it just takes the right guy to get you back out there.

Crib Night One

Friday night was a night that I will not forget anytime soon. It was one of those proud mother moments, the one that even thought you do not sleep the best it was still the best night in a long time. I have started to put Maci in her crib for naps about a week ago, and she has been doing better than I could have ever imagined.

Since coming home from the hospital Maci has been sleeping in her rock-n-play. This has been a true life savor. For any new mom out there I would recommend getting one of these. Not only did it help to calm my nerves at night of her puking in her sleep and choking, but also as a place to her to sit and play and be high enough that she could still what was going on around her. The seat that is on a angle is but still comfortable enough for baby to sleep in. Well enough on that.

I decided that it was time to try a night in her crib. And it was perfect. Other than that she woke up to eat because she seems to not be able to eat enough. But even after eating I put her back in there and she slept like a champ until she woke up to eat again a few hours later.

Some day I know that I will miss the little things but right now I will make the most of them.

Everyday Is Something New

Just the other day for the first time I spent most of my night trying to get Maci to bed. She had her night time bottle, had some cuddle time, when she finally fell asleep I put her in her crib. And this is when everything turned. She decided that as tired as she was she was not going to sleep.

At first this was not anything new, she does this many nights. But this time she was up about every ten minutes. This was the night that she decided to learn to play the game of being over tired and continuously waking herself just as she would start to fall asleep. 

As this went on for about an hour I really learned that your child will push you to the limits everyday with something new. These things are some times the things that you just want to walk away because you run out of patients.

Being a single parent when you hit this point you do not always have someone else to turn to. I am lucky that even though I do not have a partner to share these challenges with both of my parents are more than willing to help me whenever they can. Even on nights that all we have is a crabby overtired baby. I could not be more thankful for them then I am now.

8 Weeks

In the last eight weeks I have seen just how much a child can learn in a short time. I never thought that a baby could learn so much so soon.

Here is the list of thing that at eight weeks old (2 months) my daughter has already accomplished:

     Full head control
     Beginning to pull her self to sit up
     Holds her own bottle
     Sleeps through the night
     Puts her self to sleep
     Entertains herself
     Recognizes people and voices
     Starting to laugh
     Stating to talk/babble
     Stating to show different emotions

Everyday there are new things to add. It is crazy, I never really understood how a parent could be so proud over the littlest things. But all the little things really are the big things. I never really thought that at 20 I would be a mother.

I never thought I would turn 21 and want to spend the night at home with the little girl. And having to have my friends tell me that we are going out. Even my parents told me that I need to take a night and go out and that would be the perfect night even if its just for an hour or so.

I also realized how much a child can make you want to plan for the future. I never in a million years wanted to own a house but now I can not imagine not. Its crazy how after your child is born your plans and dreams change 360 degrees. But I can honestly say that I would not have it any other way.

Maci has truly made me see the important things in life, and the importance in my own life that I never saw before.

In eight weeks Maci has grown 3 inches gained 3.5 Pounds. I can only imagine what she will be at her 4 month check up.

My Baby Girl

After everything with my marriage I decided to try and be a little relaxed with my life. Well I was a little to relaxed. About five weeks after going to a party I found myself in more of a predicament than I thought I would be in after everything else that I had just gone through. I found out that I was pregnant. I knew that I had a few choices but I knew what I wanted and I knew that I was given this opportunity for a reason. I was not fully sure what it was that this was going to teach me but I did know that I could not have this baby on my own. But I knew that telling my parents would be one of the hardest things I would ever have to do.

My parents took the news a million times better than I ever thought they would. I was also blessed that they were going to stand by me no matter what I decided to do.

That meant that they would be there even if things with the father did not work out. As hard as I tried I could not keep that situation from falling apart. I tried everything and I mean everything.

One thing that I did learn from it all is that it should not take a baby to make you realize that a situation is not safe.

But on May 31, 2015 at 7:31 P.M. My pride and joy, my baby girl was born.

I never realized what true love really was until I heard her cry for the first time. That is one moment in life that I will never forget.

Now do not take me saying this as being a parent is easy in anyway it is a new challenge everyday. Let alone being a single parent is even more of a challenge. Every day I learn a hundred new things and I know I have a million more to learn.