313 Days

Once again as always my sister and I got in to a fight that had me storming out of the house. No one even stopped to say anything on my way out. From there I went to work from 5-9. Upon my arrival home after work and just a little extra time out of the house for myself I returned home. The only thing that has been said to me in the past two hours is "Hello" from my mother when I walked in partly because I had to walk past her to get down stairs to my room. After that was nothing tell about 20 minutes ago when I turned on my music and it was a little to loud I guess cause I then received a text message saying to be a little bit more quite cause there are people trying to sleep. I did not think that it was that loud but I guess again I was wrong just like I am with everything here. In 313 days I will be a legal adult at the age of 18. I know that I will have a year left of high school left but to me that does not matter. I want to get out and be on my own just to show everyone that has doubted me that I can make it on my own. To prove to my family that I may be the last one out of the house but that I can handle the responsibility of school, work and fending for myself. Because to them I may not seem like I know how to or that I do. But for the little bit that I spend at home I might as well be out on my own. I know that mom and dad will tell me to just wait to be done with high school but I know that I will be lucky if I can make it that long. The more that I spend here the more I seem to fall farther and farther away from everyone of the family. I have friends at school and out side of school that don't understand what I'm saying when they ask what is wrong. This is due to the fact that none of them had to grow up and learn to be their own person and take care of themselves. Because unlike a normal child and teenager, I did not have the choice to not do anything and not have any responsibility. As I have been told by my mom and doctors I didn't really have a childhood. When I'm at school or work and people bring up their childhood memories. I sit there and think wow for the life of me I can't remember anything from then. I have been told that I blocked out my childhood because there were no memories worth remembering. To tell you the truth from the stories I have heard from my childhood I can completely believe that that is what happened. So in 313 days I will show everyone that thinks I can't do it. That the little girl that they thought that I would always be hasn't been around for a while. So that Jeep Wrangler that I have wanted for so many years I guess will just be put off so that I can get out and start my own life and feel like I might make a difference in my life.

A Moment of Time

Since school has started, me getting my job back, I have not had a lot of time just for me. So now that I have a day off from school and work I am going to take advantage of it to the fullest. I'm taking time to catch up on my blog, and other blogs that I have not time to read. So years ago I would not be caught dead saying this but now is different. I am really enjoying this school year so far. I don't have an exact reason why. I do know that with the full class schedule that I have picked for this year. To someone who doesn't know my schedule they would think that I'm crazy for saying that i have a full schedule. Well what they don't know is that both of my study halls that I have are for the two independent classes I have. Also that none of my classes this year are not easy classes. By this I mean they are not classes that I don't get homework in. Almost all of my classes I get homework every night, I'm not complaining because I don't mind it at all. to tell you the truth I am starting to like it. I think this is because with homework nightly it keeps me busy. Well now that I am partly caught up on here I am going to start on the homework that I have for this weekend.

One Week

So from today I only have one week left in Roanoke VA. I am very happy to be going home but at the same time I will miss a few things from around here. Some of the people that I met, a few things I get to do, and the view of the mountains. With knowing that I will have all that I just walked away from back makes me feel happy. Part of me thinks this might be selfish, but the other part of me has seen just how lucky to have everything at home that I do. When I gave it all up I didn't know that it was all very important to my everyday life. Seeing how much I had to reshape my life for what I had this summer makes me very thankful that I have all of that. Well then call me selfish if you want but I can't wait to go back home. Plus getting to go home early is going to give me the time that I otherwise would not have had to spend with my family, and friends. So in a week if you want to call me selfish then go for it. But what I am going back to is where I am from and I am very thankful for that. So what ever anyone says about me, I have what I have and that's all that I will need.

Coming Home

So about a week ago I found out that I was going home two weeks earlier than what was planned. With this news I am happy to be finally going home. At the same time I will miss some of the what are everyday things I get to do here. One thing that I am most happy about, I know it should be getting to see my mom, dad and other friends again but, it is getting to have my own car again. I know that seems selfish but I will be able to go places when I want with out having to wait for the car and then when able to go its either to late, or she is to tired and I can't go cause I have to watch the baby. I know that sounds stupid because that is what I am here for but the way that I understood it when I took the job was that when she would be coming home from work I wold get to do what I wanted and not have to be the only one taking care of her child. There are times that I just want to have time for my self and when I do get the car I am going and getting something for her that she doesn't want to go do herself and I have to take the baby or I get to go do what I want to and I have to be back when she wants me back but she never gives me a time limit so I will be in the middle of doing what ever I finally got to do and she is calling and asking me when I will be home and why I'm taking so long. There was this once I was just running to Walmart to pick up a few things that she wanted to and i needed a few things too so I was taking my time trying to relax and I just get in the store and she is calling me asking how much longer I will be. It was kind of like this when we first came but I thought she was just being protective. Well the longer I am here the more stuff she is making me do. It is so bad that she makes me make her coffee and that's what ever cause I have some too, but when its done brewing and she tells me to bring her her cup of coffee so that she doesn't have have to get up. I wouldn't mind if she was doing work when she asked but she is always just checking facebook or watching T.V. When I took this job I didn't know that this is what I was signing up for. I guess this is one of those things that parents tell you, "you don't really  know what you are in store for" again parents do know what they are talking about.

Well Here We Go!

So as I talked about in my last few posts my transition from WI to VA went well and is going well. The only thing that seemed to take forever was the trip here. Contrary to what you may think we didn't get a moving company and fly here. We rented a U-haul, packed it up, and the next morning we left at 2 A.M. Yes as any teenager would do I didn't go home and go to bed I stayed up so I could get my second wind. The drive that we made was not that of one or two or even three hours. This was a 16 hour drive but with traffic, gas stops, tolls, food stops, turns into a 20 hour drive. Well for the first four and a half five hours I didn't drive but I didn't sleep either. Well I guess I did sleep but it was for 15 minutes and I felt so awake after that. Well about the third stop after we had just gotten into Ohio I took over and started to drive. Well this would have not been that big of a deal because I have driven a truck/SUV before. But this was completely different I have never driven with a trailer before. This was not one of those little two wheel trailers, this was a four wheel, tires wider than the truck and the trailer, 6X12, packed with half of a house. So with no experience under my belt and if something would go wrong not an option here situation I took the wheel like I have done this a million times. For how I thought it was going to be to how it was was not to different. With two monsters, a small orange juice and a coffee down in just over four and a half hours, with remind you no sleep in about what was a good 18 to 19 hours I was ready to go up against the world. I drove through Ohio and through about half of West VA. For about the last about 130 miles Sam took over and drove again because we were getting in to the hills and he had driven them before whereas I have not. By the time we reached the apartment we had both been up for over 38 hours. Well after the 20 hours of driving when we got out of the car we were both happy because we knew we didn't have to get back in the car to drive for what seemed to be forever. Well we didn't just go inside and go to bed with unpacking just what was necessary, but we did go and lay on the floor for about a half hour. Well after those 30 minutes we went to the trailer and unpacked the whole thing. Not how you may think of unpacking we just took the stuff out and brought it all inside, so more emptied the trailer. After that we ordered out so at around 11:30 not much is open but Deney's was so we ordered went got the food and then ate. well after eating we still didn't head to bed. By the time we headed to bed it was already 2:30. Well today Sam and me didn't get up until around 1:30 the only time I got up was to feed Arovo and put him back to bed. Well after getting up we started to unpack right away. Well with sleeping for over half the day, unpacking and the little bit of running around we had to do we got all the unpacking done in about half a day. To some this may not be at all exciting but for me it is life changing. But so far in the two days of this new step in my life I feel that I have accomplished so much. As my summer here in VA  goes on I will also keep you in the loop of the what may be crazy, boring, unimaginable, or just the every day life stuff.

~The Steps that you take are never to big~