Trust But Always Be Careful

There comes a moment in time where you reality truly sets in and you accept the fact that those whom you thought would always be in your life are no longer there, or not as often. When I first started to accept this It was one of the hardest things I had done. I did not want to admit that when I was making friends I had not found people that would stick by my side through thick and thin. I did not want to admit that I had let my guard down and did notice until it was to late.

As time passed I started to accept things more and started to see these things as a learning lesson and to help me through the rest of my life when it comes to deciding who I am willing to let in. I have learned that although someone seems to be nice and caring, and see as if they want to see you happy that is not always the truth. Now I am not saying that everyone is like this or that this is everyone's deep dark plan. What I am really saying is that before you put our self out there for others do it carefully and don't give others the ability to knock you down and ruin you before you truly see who they are as a person.

Things Never Stay the Same

As more and more time passes I am left with the realization that no matter what I do to try and keep things the same to do that is out of my reach and control. No matter how hard one tries you keeping things from changing is not realistic.

Though out my life I have always been trying to keep everything from changing. My friends, family, jobs, my opinion, decisions, anything. I have always known in the back of my mind that these were not things that I could control by any means. By the time that I have accepted the fact that not everything was in my hands and that I had to just take things day by day is when my life started to become more and more easier.

Don't get me wrong I still have my days that I seem to forget this but I always seem to find something or some one that brings me back to reality.

I know this is not the best or even something that you may care about or want to hear but this is something that I feel that maybe by putting it out there for others that I may be able to help maybe even just one person realize this too, and maybe it will help to make their lives a little less stressful also.

Think What You Will But It's My Choice

In about three hours I will again be getting something that will change not only my life but also my fathers. For some what I am getting done may seen obscene and not okay, but to me none of that matters. To me the only thing that matters is that I will have something that I will be able to show everyone how much my father really truly means to me.

You may be asking yourself at this point what is she getting done. I am getting a tattoo that will represent how much my dad has meant and will always mean to me.

I know what many are thinking. "Why do you want to get something that in 20 years you will regret?" "Do you really think that would make your father happy?" "How could you be doing something so stupid?"

But one thing that you have to realize is that things in my family are not what many would say that of a normal family. My parents see nothing wrong with tattoos and they see it as a personal choice. I also see it this way and also as a way of expressing what is important and meaningful to oneself.

My first tattoo that I got about 6 months ago is one that will always remind me of what is truly important but also that my mom will always be there by my side when things get to a point where i need someone else to lean on. 

So yes say what you would like. Tell me I am making a bad choice and that there are other ways of expressing myself. But no matter what anyone tells me it will not change my mind. I am doing this for me and as long as it makes me happy that is all that matters.

So go ahead tell others what you want and think what you like of me, but I know that in the end what others think is not what is truly important but what I think of myself is. And those that truly love me will be by my side even if they believe that I am making the wrong decision and will be there for me when I fall to lift me up and help me find the right way.

Tuesday March 19, 2013 3:30 P.M.

As of tomorrow at 3:30 P.M. I will be in the process of getting my second tattoo done. I have always wanted a tattoo and after my first one I decided that I wanted one that would mean alto to me, and also be able to show everyone that would see them know that these things really truly mean the world to me.

I had gotten my first tattoo a few days after my 18th birthday, and I had decided that I was going to have it done on my right side along my ribs. For this tattoo part of it will be on my collarbone and the other part with be wrapped around my shoulder on to my shoulder blade. This will also all be taking place on my left shoulder.

So in less than 24 hours I will be once again be freshly inked. And I can not wait.

Everyone knows the difference between right and wrong. I to know the difference, for my parents taught me very well. As some may already know there comes a time when you break those boundaries. For me that seens to have taken place in the last year or so.

Of course it could not be something simple it had to be complicated. It just had to be something that involved me but others too. When things first started I told myself that this was just a momentary thing, but things changed. I told myself that I would not let my feeling get involved, and well again as you can probably guess things again changed. By no means did I ever imagin this happening or plan it to happen, but like people always say "everything happens for a reason." It is just that I am still searching for the reason why.

I have been trying to find a way to fix things or maybe change them with out making things to weird. I have not had any luck with this yet. I am hoping that maybe one day I will just wake up and have an answer to this question, therefor also giving me a way to deal with the whole situation. I am also hoping that that one day comes soon, before someone ends up getting hurt because of the whole thing.

“Everything happens for a reason. Every action has a reaction. Always remember that whats meant to be will always find a way to come about.”